Since that day we have had uncountable ups and downs, curves and turns, but thru it all we have stood the test of time. Without the Lord, Jesus Christ as the center of our Home, it would have crumbled as any house without a firm foundation. I sit back and I look at the marriages around me, or the lack there of, and wonder what went wrong for them? I am by no means thinking that I have the most perfect marriage, just ask Tony LOL! but I do have a love for my husband and family that I could not imagine that there be anything that could end it.
I see such young couples with 2-3 kids already and they aren't even 21 yet! These people have not had time to get to know each other and feel secure enough in their relationship with their spouse then throw attention robbing children into the mix and wonder why the marriage ends so quickly?! HELLO, do you not see the pressure that you are putting on this man to provide for the family when he has barely graduated high school (if he even did) and has no real trade or job experience! Meanwhile you sit at home with the 2-3 children (not bashing SAHM, I am one too) with one so attached to you that you can't sit it down for 5 minutes in order to get the dishes washed. THEN you proceed to make your husband spend his entire Saturday off (after he has worked his butt off 60hrs this week) cleaning up the house because "you just couldn't do it with the baby..." I would leave too! A marriage is a PARTNERSHIP! Now when I say 'partnership' I am saying that you are in this relationship TOGETHER! Everyone in the home has a purpose. If you are a SAHM I personally believe that it should not even enter your mind to ask you spouse to help with the household chores. Now, before you start sending me hate mail, hear me out. There are some weeks that our week is so busy that whomever sees the need and has the time does the chore. Then there are some days that my husband comes home to a tidy house with clean clothes, an empty sink and dinner ready and he is really surprised and thanks me for it! I am not your Donna Read housewife and never will be, but I will do all that I can to hold up my end of the family responsibilities.
Or I see people that are trying to make a second go at this whole relationship/marriage thing and they STILL think that it is all about THEIR need and THEIR wants. Never thinking about the other person's needs or wants. The world we live in today is so SELFISH! But then again, what do we expect when the generation that is raising children now grew up in the welfare age where everyone was ENTITLED to their share of healthcare, housing and nutrition. So they automatically think that their life should be their way like they can at Burger King. So now here we are with two people who BOTH want it their way or the highway and most of the time there are a couple of children in the mix as well and the example that they are seeing is that if the person doesn't heed to your ways then they are bad people and to move one to the next. Well NEWS FLASH. You will possible never find someone to live up to your full expectations so you best start adjusting your halo! Being in a marriage involves TWO people not ONE! Tony and I don't agree on everything but we value each other and we value the opinions and experiences of the other and we come to a conclusion on the matter. How is it fair to always watch chic flicks when your husband like action adventure, then you complain because he falls asleep every time you watch a movie together. Or how is it fair to go to the steakhouse every time you go out when your wife really enjoys Italian food. These are very minor examples I know. How about this. Lets say you are dating a wonderful man that has a very demanding job. He is a true gentleman and loves your kids too! But you chose to break up with him because he works 70hrs a week. Now, I know that is a demanding job, yet he is working to provide for YOU and YOUR kids (not his) and on top of that, his job is rewarding because I gives him an opportunity to minister to people who are potentially at their lowest point in life. All you are worried about is how much time he is spending with you. HOW SELF-CENTERED! Here is another common scenario. You have lots of friends and really enjoy going out and 'having fun' but your soon to be husband is more of a 'home body/family man' that enjoys other people's company but doesn't like staying out all night. You complain that he is boring and that you just want to have 'fun'. Well that describes how me and Tony use to be. Tony loves spending time with friends and doesn't care if it is 2am when we get home. I really enjoy spending time with friends (not crowds) but also will pass on outings to have some down time. I am a very selfless person. I give of my time and talents to whomever needs me and the same with Tony. We sacrifice for each other and others.
Once again, I am not saying that my marriage is perfect by no means but just reflecting on what I see happening around me and wonder how did this country's idea of marriage get so twisted so fast... I can tell you how, it is by the sin in this world. When you look in the Bible to see what the blueprint for marriage was you would be amazed. Check it out here. I am still a work in progress. I use to be a very head-strong woman that 'didn't need a man to survive'. That is true, I don't need a man to survive, but I would be very unhappy without my soul mate. What good is this life to live if you have no one to share your ups and downs and turns and curves with?
I love my husband very much and am praying for him as he leads our family as we continue This life on Earth.
